Its hard for me to like people

I have been thinking a lot lately about loving people. Is it possible to not like people but love them? Not that I don't like my friends and family. Its just that I was hurt so many times by people unless people prove to me that they wont hurt me I'm on the edge around them. I think that why I get tired out when Im around people, because I'm on the edge all the time. The people that have hurt me I don't like that much. I know I should because of what Jesus has done for us. We keep hurting him all the time when we sin, and yet he still loves us no matter what we do! I know this. All my life I have been struggling to like people. Not that I am not concerned for my enemies salvation. I am. I do love them in that way.

I feel like I have forgiven them but the glass is still broken and Jesus is still putting it back together. I don't think I will be fully fixed until I breath my last breath. Death is peaceful, living is much harder. I am a sinful human being. I want to be more like Jesus though, I do. I want to put it all behind me. I just can't seem to do that. I feel weary even around some loved ones. I don't know what to do. Its hard for me to be out going and want to find a job or a church because Im afraid of people, I don't like them. I think I am so jumpy when someone doesn't try to hurt my feelings but does, because of my past. I am a very sensitive person. Even the slightest sense of somebody that doesn't like me, I freak. I just wish I didn't care so much about what people think of me. I get so tired of the world sometimes. Thats why I like being at home so much. I'm so comfortable here. No one can hurt me, yell at me or talk behind my back here. I'm safe at home.